Day Ten – She’s Carib·BEING
You remember yesterday when I told you about the challenge of going back to work while being on the island? I talked to you about how I was spiraling, ready to quit it all. Well, your girl pulled that thang all the way together. Shout out to counseling that gives you the tools to interrupt trauma patterns!
Before I continue, I think it’s super important to mention if you are a Black woman living in America, 10/10 you have trauma. No, it may not be like mine- sexually abused at the hand of your father, but trauma is trauma. It’s a loss, a disappointment. Dictionary.com defines it as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. Heck, COVID alone was that. Take COVID plus the racial unrest and any ickyness you experienced as a child, and baby girl – YOU GOT TRAUMA!
I believe that trauma will always exist once experienced. It’s like a disease that lie dormant but can be triggered at any given time without warning. So for me, my healing is in how I navigate it and the emotions that are associated, how I interrupt the spiraling that was starting to surface the other day so I can avoid self-sabotage.
Now that we have established that you too have trauma, the most important thing to take away from this is that I did it differently. I often combat what feels like these moments where everything is out of control by finding the truth.
Here was my truth:
- I can determine how much time I spend working. Worse case scenario is I get fired from my contracts, but this is highly unlikely because people are more understanding than we give them credit for PLUS my clients know I deliver.
- I have two weeks left on the island, and sitting behind a computer screen all day defeats the purpose of me courageously living here for the month.
Those are the only two truths I needed to 1) mosey myself to the beach to start my day in prayer and gratitude, and 2) let my Executive Assistant know that if it ain’t already on the schedule, we are not adding it until August. All that was left to do was to walk up and down the beach, toes in the sand, while overlooking the water and listening to Kanye’s Sunday Service. (Yes, this has been my album of choice since Sunday, and yes I will wear a song out! LOL).
My serenity moment got interrupted by the alarm I set for 8:45 so I could get to my 9 am meeting. 9:05, 9:07, 9:10, 9:11… no client. I’ll admit I was annoyed, but I couldn’t be pissed because the beach was calling me. See, when you put something in the Universe, it transpires to give it to you. I wanted less work and more island vibes, and my no show gave me just that.
I changed in to my suit and went to do one of the things on my SXM Adventures List – parasailing. And that’s what I did. In the meantime I met a woman from Dallas that was interested in my company’s work. Can we say business networking errwhere we go?!
Parasailing was quick and painless. What a sight to see from so high in the sky. The only thing I wish is that I took my Dramamine. Motion sickness is no joke.
I was done by 11:30 am, got dressed and went to grab lunch while prepping for the meeting. By 1:30 I was on the first work call, and at 3 I had my second call, which followed by with some emails and work to prepare for Thursday’s meetings.
After working I cooked a full meal – chicken, veggies, and red potatoes before heading to the beach for the celebration of French National Day and the anniversary of the Storming of the Bastille. This was a major event in the French Revolution, and it’s celebrated to symbolize the unity of French people, just like we in the States, celebrate Independence Day. There was fireworks, music, and dancing that didn’t stop until after 2 am when I finally went to bed.
I realized SXM is like a friendlier version of NY. This place goes, but you don’t have to be scared for your life as you kick back.
This island is full of surprises. When I woke up that morning I had no idea there would be fireworks “in my backyard.” I’m just happy that I have found some “rhythm and flow” that included work but also made room for play.
PS. I had thee worse Mojito I have ever had in my life. I don’t drink much, but in an effort to live in the moment, I ordered one. I kid you not, each and every time I attempted to take a sip, the corners of my mouth, out of pure reflex, drooped down while my nose simultaneously tooted up in the air. I wanted to force myself to drink it cus it cost me a whole $10 but just couldn’t see that thing through. Almost ruined my whole dang on night!!! LMBO!
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